i got a friend back in the days when i was in secondary skool. we used to call him 'Apex'. in fact, until today the name still stick to him. the last time we met..i guess should be a year ago.

there is something interesting abuot this guy....

he is a very pias person when it comes to be an obidient son. if i'm not mistaken, his father passed away, prior to the day when i got to know him.(that should be somewhere in 1998). im also not sure on what course that he is to take the role of the one to be responsible on the family after his mother, but what i know is...he has been doing that since then...until today.

but bare in mind, though being put in that kind of position..according to people, he has never changed. he kept being one of the nicest bloke in the skool. being friendly to everybody, keep making new friends day by day, and join us his classmate in every soccer game they had(going against the other class and other teams).

one thing that make people recognize him, and also a sign of his obidience towards his mother...appears when every time i bump into him on the road..50% of the times..it was him and his mother sitting on the passanger's seat. carrying the mother anywhere she wants. sometime they have several plastic bags on the bike's handle or on their hands, sometime it was only them...this boy has been doing this since at least for the last 8 years. and since then again,i have been wondering...how does it feel to have your mom on the bike when you were riding. doesn't it seemed to be awkward? some of our friend, after our soccer session in Port Bangla every evening sometime asked,"tak geli ke bawak mak sendiri naik motor?" (don't he feel weird to carry his mom around on the bike?)when most of friends of mine rides motorbike to most place they go, i guess maybe there is some relevance for them to come out with that kind of question. yeah, when they normally carry girls where they shall receive nice tight hold from the back, or a joy of breasts that acts as the 'shock absorber' everytime it bumps on them after the emergency brakes'...for sure that kind of ideas comes to their mind.

well, i finally found the answer today. as early as 6.10am.

my brother send my dad's car for some painting work. it was on my dad's request. that leaves the house with no car. my brother has left for his class in MFI last night. that leaves me the only man with transport at home. my mom was late for work. needed a ride to the nearest bus stop. and this is where the mighty mouse's 'here i come to save the day' really means a lot.

to add, later at 11am, i was about to leave the house heading to shah alam..my dad..needed a ride to PUTRA-LRT station. the same case applies.

wonder how it feels? it was hell a heavy responsibility i felt on my shoulder. the person i carry were the two that brought me to this world, and have been doing whatever it needs to make me the person i am today..these two people were the one where my other brothers and sister rely to live, and look for love.

now i have found the answer...only three words i hve for my friend, apex...

"I RESPECT YOU, brother"

dropped by in swee kheng's blog. its not something i regularly do, though i always love to pay visit to friends' blogpages, somehow i rarely click on his link that has been there for ages on my blog. maybe because i am not really close to him..or what, i don't know.

as i kept on scrolling down, i found one BEAUTIFUL post. it was from him, as a tribute for his late dad. it was so nice, so beautiful, touched me so much. i practically can feel the aura he wanted to send together in his writing.

reading that reminds me to a friend of mine, in one of her post..she talked about her dad. that one was another good one. i liked that one so much.

the bottom line is, i love to read from those who writes from their heart. and in the case when you talk about you dad, a person that have been living with you for long..it has to come from there. its nothing you can look at a glance and goes on and on about. its about something you have seen so long..as long as your life, know about it, feel it in your heart, and then..on one fine day it came to you that you suddenly want to talk about it. only then, you will start doing it.

the thing is, i really hope i could do something like that. i really want to be somebody that is able to express myself very deep...or at least to be able to make people feel the sense i want to send. to be able to make people feel what i feel just by writing it down, or say it up.

the sad thing is...i just can't do that right. at least not yet right now. and until today, i guess i remain being a person that keep my feelings at heart. it has been like that for so long until at this point of time, it's a kind of normal for me to no to have much feeling on anything. at least that is what i thought about myself.

what is the problem? is it me, is it my incapability to use the right language, or i just the person i am now..a person with less heart?i have to admit that my level of english is not high, but at least it is at a level that i could never imagine 6 years ago. i'm still in the effort to improve myself.

what ever it is, i just wanna pray the best for myself, and also for all people out there that always give themself a chance to be better day by day..no matter in any feild.(hopefully the good ones)

going to the other part of the story. you know why i simply feel touched when a person manage to write well about their parents? (in this case, their dad)...because if you want to do that now...i won't be able to do it. i have to admit that i don't know much about my dad. maybe the culture of our family is a part of the thing to be blamed, but i believe everything pretty much falls on me too. i didn't make much effort for it. as much as my friends were amazed how my dad and can have such a good conversation together, actually we didn't really talk much. i mean, the substance we shared. it will always on very basic stuffs. i don't think he even know how many girlfriends i had, or what is my favourite color. as return, i don't know those stuffs from his side too..but one thing i have to admit, his friends were so cool when i sit down with them and have some chat.yes, i'm talking about a 24 years old guy sitting with a group of 56 years old and above. that is one of the main source for me to know stories of my dad when he was young, plus occasionally he tells me some too...

what do i do about this? ... leave it like that? try to work something out? maybe..but what is that 'something'?

somebody please tell me..

after more than 1 year not debating, out of nowhere i somehow being put in a situation where i have to debate and guess what? its for the All-Asian teams selection.

guess what? i did B.A.D. plus all of us (hehe..at least i wasn't the only that did bad) got a nice shout from Tubs...thanks, man.

this means? i might have to become a freeloader in the next debate trip to Langkawi..

so, got to gain money from now...

a little force to yourself, for yourself, by yourself could do miracle. and that was what happened to me today. i was late for to be at the SIFE exhibiton..organized by UiTM student affairs dept, in conjunction with the Young Leaders Convention opening ceremony whereby the Deputy Prime Minister to officiate the thing. I practically didn't sleep last night..i just can't. i tried hard but seemed that it didn't work. but i think it was a bless someway because because of that, i can help a friend of mine.mildred and the gang. they were on their way to UiTM and they got lost. so, since i just can't sleep, or should i say trying to be a good host since i am from UiTM...i did them a favor by fetching them up and showed them the way from the closest point they can get to shah alam..in this case, the ProJet gas station in section 13. i only managed to somehow sleep (if you consider to wake up every 45 mins as still a sleep) at 5.30am.

made it to the exhibition, and guess what, i had a chance to be one of SIFE's spokesperson to explain our activitis to Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak, the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia. It wasn't long, but it was long enough for us to have a conversation.

on my way for Friday prayer, encoutered a situation where a boy (UiTM student) involved in an motorcycle accident. he was lying on the streetside, and there were around 15 people around him. i stopped over, asked that if anybody did call the ambulance? guess what..? NO ONE have a logical mind to think that. its not that i want to say that i'm great or what, but at least, in the sane mind..have some guts to think. one thing they tried to do, (at least) tried to stop some cars, to give the poor boy a lift to the UiTM's health center. a lady with BMW stopped by, but as the people acted so slowly to bring the boy to the car, she left...( i wonder who to blame...the lady or the crowd, or both?). so i rode my cheap Honda EX5 to the health center, just to find out that there were no driver available as all of them went for the friday prayer.and they can do nothing about it...hell..can't they try to use one technology called the CELL PHONE? can't they call the guy and tell him that he is needed urgently. a boy is lying on the roadside, bleeding, unconcious...don't you have some heart to help? or at least...remember...it's your job. the god will ask you in during the judgement on the hereafter, how much did he do in performing his obligaton as the person who is responsible on students' health? what did he do with the money he received by working half-heartedly...the money that being used to feed his wife, his children? hell..why don't people think about that?

thank god a girl (good looking also ='>) offered help. so we went on her vitara.thank god the moment we got there, UiTM patrol car actually have been there first and brought the boy to the center. i later had a chat with the boy's friend. got to know the story and all...i guess he should be O.K...i pray for him.

went back to my room, (yes, i missed my friday prayer) and i somehow fall asleep. woke up later in the evening and i know i got to go to the gym. i have promised Jan. but inside me..it feels so...lazy. again, i forced myself...and guess what? i lost 700grams today! as i went out just now, i was 79.5kg. i love it...love it..

and now i'm in the cc woth edzuan, waiting for (its 2am now) hafiedz, hendra and masai to finish playing snooker so we can go back home...hmm..seems like my plan to wake up early tomorrow (that means today), maybe to go for a light sesssion in the gym before i go to the debate training...will not happen...

sayonara, pople!!

its another beautiful start of the day. sure you can guess why... yes people, god has heard my prayer...my catalan brothers has gave the over-pempered kids of chelsea a lesson to learn- Just because you play at your home ground, that does not mean that you can simply hit a 19-year old boy hard as if his parents weren't looking. a 2-1 win plus a red card for Del Horno was just a good thing...

plus, the meeting i had with Pn. Che Meriam this day actually made me a little worry. i was really looking foward for her say just now but it seemed to hard to happen as she has to make a little more research and put my proposal into higher level of consideration. that would means it might involve the Assistant Vice Chancellor and even 'better'..the Vice Chancellor of the university himself. i just pray for my luck.

i finally got my pink Dockers shirt embossed with SIFE UiTM logo today...thanks to zamil.

besides all that, i have to say the day went ok. i was a frustated for not being able to go for a session in the gym..it was a heavy downpour. other than that..life is ok...

bye people..

the day started in such a beautiful manner. though i spent last night sleepless...yerp..after being soaked in the rain while i was on my way back to shah alam, i went out for a drink with Emilia and Khairul in Khulafa Bistro where i later met my SIFE people..and later Rafai'e from my debate club. for a while, i have to say that i felt a kind of famous, i have to say.from there Zamil was suppose to send me back to home until Senoi and him came out with an idea to catch a midnight movie. drove ourself to One Utama just to get to know that the movie got cancelled as result of no crowd. hell, only if we were there earlier. just for the purpose to kill the time, we went to the new Uptown. after Senoi had 4 packs of nasi lemak, Zamil ate 5, and myself..2+Koteow Kerang..we drove back to shah alam when i received a challange from Rafai'e to watch Champions Legue Quarter Finals-Arsenal vs. Real Madrid with Hefiedz and him. Being a real Arsenal fan I am, I was game for it. Hafiedz and me..were all time Arsenal. Rafai'e was the only on Real's side. He was so confident that his team gonna win. I personally have some doubt looking at the way both team performing in their own league.

But despite all that doubt, the moment Reyes had his chance denied by Cassilason the first minute, I know it was an Arsenal's game. And the truth was decided the moment Henry dribbled the ball passed 3 Real's defender before he went for a nice cross shot from the left to the right side of the goal. And the result stays though The Gunners was should be able to score more.

That impliedly means that all our drinks and food bill were paid by...Rafai'e.

Another good thing today...though i was suppose to watch a movie with a friend but the plan got to be cancelled at the last minute..but still there was another good part of today. After 4 days not going to gym for various reasons...i was still manage to maintain my weight at normal level. Entered the gym with 80.5 kg and walked out with 79.7.

Tonight, its Barcelona-Chelsea's game. All of you knows that in the EPL, my rank is Arsenal-Chelsea-Livepool since I was in school. In the La Liga, Barcelona is the one i associate myself to.(FYI, i have met the whole team of Braca during my visit to Barcelona in 204). But for tonight's game, i root myself to Barca. All the way, Ronnie...make The Blues feel the hell!

it's an important day..

i represented UiTM International Office in a meeting with MARA today. I was there on time, and i felt good about it. the moment i walked into the room, i just found out that i was the youngest human creature in the room, plus there was even a guy with Dato' titleship sitting in front of me.

so i know i got to perform good. i'm carrying the image of UiTM, a university that i'm proud of on my shoulder. and i guess i did quite well.

and now i'm at home..having some good food my mom cooked. and i have to rush back to shah alam. got to go to the gym...but unfortunately its raining here. i wonder..will i have to miss another session today? this doesn't seem to be a good trend...

just pray for my luck, people..

i am so dissapointed with myself today. i felt so tired. i practically slept from 3pm until i just found out that i have just missed my gym session and karate class at 9.59pm.

hell..how can i be so tired?

maybe i used too much energy during the 2-days SIFE program?

or what?

the second day on the SIFE program. today it was even better. the people put their whole heart on it. plus the support we received from our alumni, made us and our juniors were so into it. the program ended with success. but it is to early to say anything, because the second phase is yet to come. after that, then we can really say either it was a success or what..

the night, went to send Lin at the airport. with a good friend of mine we drove all the way, chit chatting on a lot of stuffs, it has been quite a long time since the last time we met. met magic at the airport, and later Lin and her whole family. For those that know how Lin's family looks alike, you will be able to imagine how nice the situation was. the family members were so close to each other..it was so good.

the way back from KLIA, another chit-chat session..i love it. i seriously like it when i got to talk to this friend of mine.

hey..i wanna leave now!

a program with my beloved SIFE people. was a good one. the food was good too. this time, i love the participants. they were great! very enthusiast. very honest to themselves, and very keen to learn. i know the people i saw there were people that will make it big in the future...and i'm pretty sure of it.

Lin is going to leave for Korea tomorrow. i have made a plan to send her at KLIA. i really wish my plan to go Korea this June become real, because having a good friend around is going to be so good. plus my awesome korean friends.. i miss them so much. wanna see if my fellas doing good in their life.

i ended staying over in edz's place again after a long session on 'Need for speed - Most wanted'

nothing much..

as usual, a session in the gym..went for a SIFE meeting at night, spent the night in edz's place...

kind of BORING..

lin called for a session on a hindi movie in which i can't recall the title. considering this would be the last time for us to watch movie together in until the next four years, i reschedule my time table so i can make it to be in KLCC by 2.30.went to the gym as early as 10.30am, and left shah alam at 1.30. i only managed to grab grilled chicken foldover from mcD KL sentral, hoping i could smuggle it in the cinema and enjoy my lunch while watching some pretty Indians dancing and rolling themselves on the hills.

and i made it.i was on time.

lin said she has been waiting for the movie since last year. don't know why the producer has been postponing the release of the movie for several times. but the cast line up was good...hm, i guess maybe the producer was waiting for a valentine's day as the movie theme was love. or else, maybe the movie wasn't good enough to compete with other movie produced in Bollywood. ( you know that India produces the most amount of movies in the world, right?).

so the movie starts..a guy singing a song while playing guitar.(you know how hindi stars love to fake their actions on musical instruments, and i still wonder how in the world they keep on going like that..was the cost of a course on instruments was too high there, or what?). i was still ok about it. and keep on watching, at this point i already had my food ready for bite. i slowly started to eat the nice and the only healthy menu from McD...

as the movie goes on and on...it became sooo.. rediculous...a song for every 4 minutes, a psycho lady giving away her virginity for a rising singer and later want to claim her love, the very stupid and non-existence tolerence when her boyfriend spend so much time with his lady manager.(eventhough she had to spend the Valentine's Day alone and more ironically...it was their 7th anniversary)..and what was the outcome? the psycho lady ended up commit sucide as to retribute her love..what ever..

though it was a crappy movie..(even Lin had a big laugh on it)..i guess the time spent with a friend is the essential part of it.

thank god i bought the chicken foldover...

one lesson i learnt today. NEVER SLEEP AFTER YOU HAD YOUR BREAKFAST !!

my weight was 81.0kg the moment i enterd the gym yesterday. i followed my diet right...until one part. i accidently fall asleep after taking my breakfast. it was the effect after staying 3/4 of the night watching EPL match. it was Arsenal vs Liverpool. Bad enough after my team lost by 1 goal.the undeserving one. Rafa Banitez was so desperate until he have to brought in Luis Gracia, and it was a good move. He scored.

let's continue with the story...

so i went to the gym, as usual..weight check. and i was shocked to death to find out i'm at 81.9kg..and that was (at least for me) B.A.D !!!!! i forced myself really hard so i can lose all those nasty weight i hate. unfortunately, an accident happened involving my good friend so i have to leave the place in hurry. without being able to complete the whole set of exersize. but that was ok. i'll go again tomorrow and hopefully..a good news.

went to sunway university college for a lecture from a Professor from National University of Singapore. Prof Wang. It was on 'Understanding China's Current Perspective' or something like that. The lecture was good. i like it so much because it was on the technical part of being in the central govt. of china itself.

i got to leave now.if not edzuan is going to get mad...

p/s: correction...Lin will be taking 'International Studies' and not Journalism in Eee Hwa University in Korea. Ampun, Lin..

it's monday and i'm at home. my comrades from CILT were fighting to the max in their PQE (Professional Qualifying Examination) exams. good luck, ya'all.

why in the world am i still at home at this hour. according to initial plan, i should be in Shah Alam, in the gym with Hafiedz and Edzuan now. but something has stopped me from riding back.

its my sister.

the moment i reached home yesterday she was so exited, like i'm a Santa bringing home tons of presents. she was jumping all over. she was so happy. then i started thinking..if i am to come home and leave as soon as possible, would that be worth it? at least for my sister..to meet her brother that hardly comes back home?

so i decided to wait until she comes back from school today. spend some time with her..then i'll go back. but there was more to it, she requested me to cook her fried rice. i know by doing that, i'll need to eat the rice too with her, in which i don't want to. coz it may hurt my diet. but i finally eat it anyway. my enthusiasm to go on healthy diet can't beat the happiness of my sis to have lunch with her own brother.

that is the one thing i learn today...being me, with several role to play doesn't mean i can simply ditch away one in order to satisfy the other. in this case, since i have taken too much rice, guess that i have to skip my dinner. meaning to say...i'll be starving the whole nite.

hmm..but maybe it won't turn that bad. i'll be going to gym later this evening and a karate session (this will be my first) would be enough to help me burning out some unwanted calories..should be!

anyong..

a session in RACTAR was a good start of the day. went there once, with my wonderful korean friends...and this time, though wasn't as fun as last time..still a good one for me. those kids were as before, still cool...still nice...still great!

even better, my team was AWESOME!!! for many of them, this is their first time. amazingly, they did a GREAT job. the kids love them. i love them too. keep up the good work, people!

the not so nice thing today...i ate too much. but i guess it was worth doing...no food in the world beats those cooked by my mom. tomorrow i guess i'll need to fast...have been working hard to lose unnecessary fat. pray for my success, people!

it was raining (again) today...thank god i still manage to ride home, even it was a bit later in the evening.

sleepy lah..nite, people!

the initial plan was to go for a horse ride in ulu yam, but as today is a thaipusam day, Batu Caves is so going to be crowded by the Hindus...the road is so gonna be jam packed.so the plan got to be postponed until further notice...

so, i got to think of a way to spent today..i can't go back because i need to be here tomorrow for a program with orphanage in RACTAR.

so...

i practically spent 70% of today in edz's place... 'soul calibur III' seemed to hard to resist. plus zikri my 'sifu' was around..made the atmosphere better. to watch him, beating edz by at least 24-10 was such a nice feeling..after all those day i have to lose to edz, hehehe..(evil laugh).

night,went to Lin's farewell party. it was held in Swensen's Subang. she'll be flying off to Korea to pursue her studies in Journalism. cool, huh! GOD, i want to do my master overseas!!!

U.K..here i come!

after so long, i'm back in debate training room. it was a kind of tough trying to challange my brain to work again. though it was hard, i got to admit..it was nice one. really nice one. i will try to stick to the session as frequent as i can. that's one of the thing i wanna do this year. before i graduate, i want to go back to the platform that has made me who i am today, the one that made me able and confidnet enough to write this blog, the one that i love..the debating scene.

i can still remember, the first debate i went thru. i was paired with mr.nazim. the motion was 'THBT Green is an unhealthy colour'. Hafiedz and Edzuan was on the other side. my English was poor. i couldn't really understand what the heck they were talking about. the next thing i know, it was my turn..and Nazim 'loaded' me with stuffs i got to say. while he wrote a kind of little note and hope i can remember all things he said to me..sir, i couldn't understand you, lah! so i went up, tried my best. god, even in that condition..4 minutes plus was the record. not so bad for a first timer, huh?

as usual, under the spirit of thoghtherness...a session in Khulafa Bistro always the agenda after every training. people were trying hard to make Hafiedz and me consume mee goreng mamak, just for the fun of it. i know all these were just a little challange from god in order for me to accomplish my mission. to lose my tummy by may and even better..if i could shape up my body.make it look better.that may sound funny for some people, but if there's no will, there's no way. believe me or not, i am now 81.9 kg, compared 82.7 the first day i started my program..

and i know the journey is still far...but i will keep on going for it!

started the day early, i went to the computer lab in Menara to complete my Transport Planning Assignment. i got to do a presentation today, spent few hours doing research and the power point presentation. the unlucky thing is...i got late to class, my professor has already start with her lecture.my presentation should be before that. so i guess..maybe in the next class, i'll have my chance.hopefully...

so as promised, at 3pm plus, i went to the gym. we had a heavier workout today. if during the previous days we worked only on cardio, its time for us to move into chest, leg and arm workout. and advanced abs workout. it was a kind of fun, though the pain is more. but none of that will stop us from going towards our dream...just wait, world...the time will come.

went to the junior debate training at night, i was glad to see the faces of people that will carry the challange in the debating scene, under the banner of UiTM. we got good future in this. i believe.a session in Khulafa Bistro was a good way to close the night...

went to office. i have decided. i'm going to take a one-month leave. reason? i got to concentrate on my project paper...

a kind of sad to do that. i like this place. the people. the work. the ambiance...

no worry, got to sacrifice a bit in order to go for a greater success.

late evening, went to the gym, unexpectedly, the so called famous Mr. Nazim was there too. as usual, started to tell stories..out of everything we talked about, the were only 2 things that he wanted to deliver. first, he read this blog..yerp, he read my blog. second, he want me to know, and indirecly tell all of you that he also have one (blog). go to http://nazimshaari.blogspot.com . you will find one plain..common beginner blog. thats the one.heheh..(sir, you should be glad..i did you a favor)

had a healthy dinner after that..a chapati IS a healthy dinner, rite? hehehe..

its an important day. i'm going back to gym starting today. with hafiedz, we were there as early as 5pm to know that the 5pm to 7pm session was reserved for the UiTM staffs. darn, shy in the world they should be given a special session when all people in the world knows that that 2 hours was the most common time to excercise for EVERYBODY. not only them!

that event wasn't good enough to kill our spirit. we went to Perindu, had some chat while waiting for 7pm. the time came and we were so happy. 1-hour session in cardio sweats us to death!

tomorrow will come, and we will continue this battle!

Aza!Aza!FIGHTING!!!

got back from arau last night. it was an eight-hour journey full of fun...jokes, trivias, stupid trivias, and hours of laughter...

guys and girls out there...i'm sorry for not being around for four days. left for Arau Open Debating Championship, a tournament hafiedz and i innitiated 4 years ago and being carried out until today is such a nice thing to do when i felt so down with things happening in my life. the feel of proud, looking at my successors, working their ass off for the sake of preserving the english debating scene in UiTM Arau from tragedic death made me believe that the battle been fought 5 years ago was a worth one. kudos to ainon and afiq, where debate has meet the 2 souls to 1 (though they don't believe by 'declaring' their relationship is an important thing compared to the joy they have now). also to the excellent tab team lead by edzuan..(that just proves that after all the pain he went thru, he is still an as-kicker). Dan was great as Cheif Adjudicator. (he..he..a good debut, i guess? dare for another?)

hafiedz repeated the history..he won the tournament thought was paired up with 2 freshies (Arau Open was their 1st tournament)..beat UiTM Shah Alam Dream Team - Zharif, Anna, Khairun. The first time he did it was 4 years ago..the first Arau Open. yes, we organized, we debated, and we won the tournament. (damn that lady from Penang...because of her, my team..during that time, we were the UiTM Arau Dream Team..Myself, Alia, and Aaron. She gave us the lost just because she likes the slang a debater from UUM has..

anyway..it's just a part of it...i love debating and i will always do. no matter what people says.

the past 3 days was fun. the trip going to Arau..for the first time ever in my life we stopped 5 to 6 times along the way.with various reasons of course. the seafood we had, the rounds we went thru...those faces that will be remembered...the ambiance of UiTM Arau, place where i spent 3 years of my life. the unexpected phone call from my ex.(she was the girl i was with during my studies in Arau) all that..i love.

wonder when will be the next time i be in one of the place i love..UiTM Arau.

i am sorry, lin. i know i promised you to be there at the kenduri but i was really sick. kept on vomiting since morning.

i really wish to be there.

i'm sorry.